this from Andrew Jones' Blog

the kingdom enters
without applause
in genres unused
in fonts never bold
in places hidden
among people overlooked

eluding those
who scrample for the prized
who lust after the spectacular
molded in their own glittery image

for the kingdom
appears
backstage

the presence of God
with poor people
who are learning where to look

ISA 9:6 For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
ISA 9:7 Of the increase of his government and peace
there will be no end.
He will reign on David's throne
and over his kingdom,
establishing and upholding it
with justice and righteousness
from that time on and forever.
The zeal of the LORD Almighty
will accomplish this.

beautiful worship this morn. worship focusing on jesus. jesus was the talk afterward. not the show - but the star.
God chose Nazareth as the town for his son to grow up in. a simple place. not even mentioned in the OT. off the beaten path. simple gov. - simple trade - simple relationships. sweet baby james says "steer clear of royal welcomes, avoid the big to-do" in his song "Home By Another Way". God is not out to steal the show on earth. he goes to Nazareth. paradox... mystery. well anyway, it was one of the best messages I've heard on advent.

these past few days have been days of refocusing. renewing. I feel new all overagain. I love that word. re-new. to "new" one more time. to become new once more. A new identity as his child. it's not all about me and i love that. it's all about him. my identity that is...
"I am the Lord; that is my Name" I was created for HIS glory. my whole life has one goal: to live an authentic response to the awsome glory of God::to glorify him. to make known his fame.

at church today...no one looked to me as someone important!! good. i need that.

I am not...says a lot

a great piece by Len Sweet called "A Learned to Learner Litany of Transformation" Here is his piece of recent creative writing:

"A Learned to Learner Litany of Transformation" by Len Sweet

I used to be a learned professor. Now I'm a learner.

When I was learned, life was a quiz show. Now that I'm a learner, life is a discovery channel.

When I was learned, it was a question of how much I knew. Now that I'm a learner, it's a question of how much I'm being stretched.

When I was learned, knowledge was everything. Now that I'm a learner, kindness is everything.

When I was learned, knowledge went to my head. Now that I'm a learner, knowledge travels the longest foot in the universe?-the foot that separates my head from my heart.

When I was learned, I used to point my finger and pontificate. Now that I'm a learner, I slap my forehead all the time

When I was learned, I used to think I was the best. Now that I'm a learner, I do the best I can.

When I was learned, I was frightened of new ideas. Now that I'm a learner, I'm just as frightened of old ideas.

When I was learned, I looked to the past: to have confirmed the set of beliefs I already had. Now that I'm a learner, I look to the future: to grow, be stretched, and remain open to what I don't know.

When I was learned, I knew where I was going. Now that I'm a learner, I don't know where I'm going----but I know whom I've going with.

When I was learned, I loved to talk. Now that I'm a learner, I'd prefer to listen, because that's when I'm learning.

When I was learned, I had something to teach everybody. Now that I'm a learner, everybody has something to teach me.

When I was learned, I was impatient with dumb people. Now that I'm a learner, I'm grateful when people are patient enough to dumb down to me and care enough to smarten me up.

When I was learned, I thought that all knowledge was a form of power. Now that I'm a learner, I suspect much knowledge is a form of weakness.

When I was learned, life was knowledge about God. Now that I'm a learner, life is knowledge of God.

When I was learned, I knew where my nose was headed. Now that I'm a learner, I go where my nose leads me.

When I was learned, mission meant "go to give." Now that I'm learned, mission work is becoming pilgrimage: mission means "go to learn."

When I was learned, my life revolved around what other people thought about me. Now that I'm a learner, my life revolves around what I think about myself and what God thinks about me.

When I was learned, from the high ground of hindsight I instructed the past on where it went wrong. Now that I'm a learner, the past instructs me about how I can right the future.

When I was learned, the power and mystery were in the big words. Now that I'm a learner, the power and mystery are in the small, simple words.

When I was learned, I thought that the educational system was so much better than the market, the other main channel for the mediation of cultural capital. Now that I'm a learner, I realize just how closed and controlling the knowledge industry can be.

When I was learned, I deemed the great threats those made dangerous by strength. Now that I'm a learner, I deem the great threats those made dangerous by weakness.

When I was learned, I loved to fill out questionnaires. Now that I'm a learner, questionnaires are an exercise in saying "I Dunno" since I keep checking the "don't know" box. ("Don't know" doesn't mean "don't care")

When I was learned, I imagined myself the church's resident "know-it-all." Now that I'm a learner, I'm more willing to admit I don't know everything.

What I was learned, I was always trying to speed things up. Now that I'm a learner, I'm always trying to slow things down, even when I'm speeding up.

When I was learned, I bragged about how our knowledge is an ever deepening ocean. Now that I'm a learner, I shudder at how our wisdom is an ever-shrinking drop.

When I was learned, I said, "Take it from me." Now that I'm a learner, I say, "Don't take it from me." I boast no immaculate perceptions. I see through a glass dimly.

I'm still an academic. As a theologian, I have my little bottle of Windex and am cleaning that glass for all it's worth. I'm trying to get rid of as much fog and film as I can. But the best I will ever to is to "know in part." I will never "know it all." God's ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:8) , and God's thoughts not our thoughts.

There are still some know-it-alls out there. Some people are like Moses. They think they can see the face of God . . . and live.

The best we can do is hear God's voice, and in rare moments of mystical and metaphorical ecstasy, gently touch his face.

Len Sweet

i didn't get picked up for work this morning and I was somewhat relieved.
Good talk with eddie yesterday. his thoughts:: rest until January. my thoughts:: I'll try.
my temptation is to be relevant. to have purpose and place in the eyes of the people here at shepherd ... one that by all means earns his keep and is worth the investment. (even though the investment is minimal) I felt that was happening in BG. Henri Nouwen delt with this in his transition:
"not being able to use any of the skills that had proved so practical in the past was a real source of anxiety. I was suddenly faced with my naked self, open for affirmations and rejections, hugs and punches, smiles and tears, all dependent simply on how I was perceived at the moment. In a way, it seemed as though I was starting my life all over again. Relationships, connections, reputations could no longer be counted on."
I am learning to let go of my 'relevant self' - the self that can do things, show things, prove things, build things...
just me
i am not...but i know "I AM"

Big week... don't know if I worked this hard being a full time pastor.
I talk to Eddie this morn. It will be good to touch base and encourage him.
He is a good pastor.

Kerri and i had a wonderful time just the two of us at dinner tonight. I got home from bucks at 2:30, we opened a checking account, and then had dinner. During dinner we talked about the question everyone's been asking: Are you settled in yet? We had been reminded of it at the bank when the teller asked us as well. Kerri mentioned that in the life of a disciple, there is never going to be a 'settled' feeling. I guess there is that sort of rythm to life that we are still waiting for - there were days in bg that we felt that rythm. I don't think it had much to do with being 'settled in' however. but then i guess that is just living out what I wrote in Sunday's post

Riley's Post: llyff wdxg af/ Z

pearl jam: a little older...a little wiser

I was unpacking my office books this eve and this really old book caught my eye. A Man's Value to Society by Newell Dwight Hillis. this treasure is looking to be a must read in the next day or so.
this is the exerpt I flipped to...
On Aspirations and Ideals
Man is a pilgrim journeying toward the new and beautiful city of Ideal. Asiration, not contenment, is the law of his life. To-day's triumph dictates new struggles tomorrow. The youth flushed with success may couch down in the tent of satisfaction for one night only; when the morning comes he must fold his tent and puch on toward some new achievement. That man is ready for his burial robes who let his present laurels satisfy him. God has crowded the world with antidotes to contentment and with stumulants to progress. The world is not built for sluggards. The earth is like a road, a poor place for sleeping in, a good thing to travel over. The world is like a forge, unfit for residence, but good for putting temper in a warrior's sword. Life is built for waking up dull men, making lazy men unhappy, and the low flying miserable. When other incitements fail, fear and remorse following behind scourge men forward; but ideals in front are the chief stimulants to growth.
needed that right now
thank you God.
reminds me of what McManus wrote in Unstoppable force while speaking to the modern day church: I guarantee that the only problems you will solve are ones that you engage, and the only problems that you engage are ones that you percieve. (p.192) and ... This is the danger of nostalgia: in the comfort of a safe and warm time-place, we become blind not only to the real world we are called to engage but also to the movement of God's Spirit in our day. (p. 92)

It's way early...my body hurts and I can't sleep. I woke up feeling like Ozzy looks and my brain can't stop taking orders at Starbucks. my body has never hurt so bad in my life. Maybe I'm the biggest whimp you ever met, but from sitting on my butt for a good 6 hours every day to running constantly for Caramel Machiattos, Frappachino's and sheet rock - my entire body screams. i do believe it's a good hurt however.

eager to start. too much caffine today. I think leading from scratch is going to be even harder than I had thought.

ron's most excellent post

Sunday night was my send off party in BG. I was floored by their generosity and love. What godly people. not just because they gave me money, but because they give from their heart with a sincerity like I have never seen in a fellowship of believers. I preached a "thank you" message from I Cor. 1:1-9 and left them with the same promise that Paul left with the Corinthians - That God is faithful and will (by his power alone) keep them blameless untill the coming of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Getting settled in Gahanna. I started hard hours at Starbucks yesterday and worked at the bar. Things went better than I was expecting. I am catching on to the "flow" of it. Thankfully, it wasn't busy at all! too much to do still in a short time period.