going to try to stay out of the way this wknd in worship...Cadillac MI::sounds fancy.
maybe I'll preach some name it and claim it... jk
pray that E doesn't break his leg on the slopes.
i'll miss kerri and riley

a good friend of mine wrote me a beautiful e.mail... she writes::

Right now the only thing I am interested in is seeking His face. His presence is where I belong. I'm not satisfied with what I used to be satisfied with. Man made organized Christianity is no longer a part of my Christian life. It never will be again. I am ruined for the presence of God. Nothing else will do. ( You may think that sounds idealistic or maybe even judgmental.) How can I ignore the drawing of the Holy Spirit into a different place with Jesus. Especially for the acceptable, people pleasing, traditional way of living the Christian life. We would be denying the Holy Spirit access. Without the Holy Spirit, my life is not worth spit! Why would I not follow Him?
The vale has been ripped into. I have not been denied access to Him. Why would I deny Him access. I need to let Him have his way with me. I'm abandoned to Captain of the mighty host of heaven (words to an old song). It's a process isn't it?
I'm not talking about forsaking the gathering of the saints. We gather with saints. We have fellowship. But! Things are not the same. I hope I am making sense.

these thoughts are safe with me... they ring true in my ears and make plenty of sense...

on the gathering of the saint's... who are the saint's. my thinking is that these are those who are citizens of a new order.. a new Kingdom...these people are Christians before they are Americans...Disciples of Christ before Nazarene or Baptist or whatever.

I also want to gather for true biblical fellowship with these people... those who are chosing the path of greatest resistance not the least...those who live upside down and backward and we all like it that way... those who are peculiar to the world around them because they are somewhat altogether different and alternative.

friends thought :: "How can I ignore the drawing of the Holy Spirit into a different place with Jesus." different is needed.
The filling of the Holy Spirit through the continual repentance of the
disciple is what leads us to this inner restlessness. "why would I not follow Him?"

someone once said that if your 20 and your not a liberal...you have no heart -- and if when you're 40 you're not a conservitave...you have no brain. well i say that Jesus never even made it to 40. He was so liberal with love that it got him killed on a cross... and that cross IS the Kingdom of God.
stupid love...upside down living... radical obedience... it can't be a phase. I won't give in -- I won't "grow up"

{riley's thoughts on dealing with the funk)
ilk.u;j`p[edikehnkiszeshnjs edijn;sz xrezrgdzrr

I have been learning a lot about eric these days as I engage in the mundane tasks of my PT jobs. Henri Nouwen writes of nepsis:: the control of thoughts. I wrestle with this discipline as I work. remaining in the spirit...praying continuously...pure in thought/motive...these things are not natural. I am bent and prone to wander.
>even in my disscussions with other partners, my mind is naturally pulled back to what's going on in e world. will i ever natually pay attention to the needs of others ... clearly hearing their cry for inner peace and community and responding in compassionate ways...pay attention.

had to change comment link b/c haloscan sucks

new lingo:: shout outs

riley is sick...prayers coveted.

get to hang out tonight with my friends tonight in community...
these folks are potential leaders of their own Kingdom communities...they just don't know it yet. If I labeled them in anyway as "potential" or prostituted our time together by giving it that sort of adjenda, they would split.
I can't wait to get out of the way... leadership must be laity ... once clergy (or staff) always clergy. I try hard, but I still percieve my presence in the group is more of a hindrance than a help.
next hard thing... how to reproduce. will this reproduce fast or slow...
it will most likely be slow...vine...branches...bricks and mortar...deep roots.

sbux is kicking my *#@
I closed last night and open this morn.
had a great conversation with my manager cole re:: her boyfriends parents and their religious behavior...
sounds like they tied some things to the gospel and tried to hand it off to their kids and to Cole and they didn't bite. in fact they ran...
behavior management religion....
good girl bad boy religion...
stuff they said to cole in the name of Jesus was quite rediculous - ill informed - and damaging.
I tried to offer grace, to distance who eric is from who they are.
I tried to show compassion... best thing that happened was that I paid attention.
I hope I showed her that I needed God yesterday more than she did

blessed are the poor in spirit
Chambers calls it the bedrock of the Kingdom...
this is Jesus' opening statement of the Sermon on the Mount
calling for an upside down Kingdom...new set of rules
If you want to follow me, you must be poverse in spirit...strong in no way.
If you want to be a sojourner, you have to lay down some crap that you think you need.
the journey of a pilgrim is that of a minimalist. I must ask myself... is what I'm carrying weighing me down?
Does it make me feel strong on my own?
Is this action, possession, trait upside down? Is it backwards in the eyes of the dominant culture?
If the gate is this narrow... how do i pass through with this stuff, with this pride, with this arrogance?
strip me Lord! Prepare me for the journey... I must have my hands free... i must be free...i must be free to simply be.

one of our friends from our tues. night meetings told Kerri and I (with no coaxing from us) that it was her "church." after we finished jumping around like little kids...we thanked God for new wineskins.

looks like the book Heal Thyself: Spirituality, Medicine, and the Distortion of Chirstianity is a great followup to the Prayer of Jabez. I've witnessed first hand in recent months the damage done by self-interested individualistic theology based off of books like the POJ. One more to put on the reading list.

last night was good...our friends showed up and prepared a meal in our kitchen... they wanted to serve us. We recieved their gift and then shared in a beautiful dialogue from our hearts about our hearts. It was a smaller group...but smaller proved to be better.

a good friend of mine once wrote:: I don't think communion is a ritual. I don't take it when it's treated like one. I believe I will be held accountable for it, if I did.
last Sunday I was asked to help serve the eucharist in the "big room" and i felt trapped. The pastor started in with the prayer that one could repeat if one needed to be cleased from all unrighteousness in order to worthily partake in this most sacred ritual. seriously off base here...
This is stuff that men of faith started revolutions over... new language has been formed, new movements were established over the misuse of the sacraments.
we were not invited to the table... Jesus' presence was not recognized by the administrator... the hurting were not restored... the broken were not offered healing... new life was not offered to those who needed Grace. As sad as it may seem... Christ seemed to be very far from our act of "rememberance."

every night this week is filled with ministry. It doesn't seem to be so hectic because most of the engagements have not been planned out and strategically organized... they just happen. My friends appreciate that. it's not another church event that they have to think of reasons to miss.

still reading through the politics of Jesus
there is so much new light in this little gem.
running into plenty of theologicall assumptions that I carried as a result of not thinking for myself.
am i a republican...democrat...conservative...liberal...am i all of these things .... am i any of these things?
not to make yet another ass - umption out of myself, but maybe as a follower of Christ and as his "apprentice," I am a citizen of a new order. totally other from the worlds dominant perceptions.
There is no news channel that I can identify with...I'm not a CNNer or a FOX news dude...
I cannot align myself and my socioeconomic viewpoint solely with the views of O'Riley or Rush or Hannity and Colms or Jerry Falwell... I hear people in the church talk this way. my worldviews should come from the life Christ lived...
"so eric, what do you think of our christian president and his action plan?"
i don't know for sure where he's at with everything that's going on but let's sit down together... i think my viewpoint is going to have to come from somewhere in the Sermon on the Mount...

very good news::
tracey (satanic friend) and i opened together at sbux yesterday and we found a common passion.....
making fun of the dominant culture of americano christianity...
thank you lord. huge breakthrough for me.

this article was sent to me at just the right time.
it gives me a label put on what is happening on tues. nights for those who question the work as deconstructive and dangerous.

I am sitting next to ryan hofacre at the library... we ran into eachother here. my partner in Kingdom work. I thank God for ryan... he's waiting... on a sabbatical and enjoying it. It was easy to see God's hand at work when I walked in and saw Ryan.
i know that it was a "God thing" but I hesitate to call it that because at this very moment God is doing His "thing" all around me... and by my (our/thechristianculture) stating that something is a "God thing"... I (we) admit that there is a lack of awareness of the "Kingdom Come" and am (are) very far from ever living in the realtime presence of the riseness of Jesus Christ.

Wow ... good review on the book that my sis Rachel bought me called Younger Evangilicals.

A must read here

picked up Bonhoeffer's Cost of Discipleship today. couldn't help it... the lecionary is all about What Disciples Are Made Of
more on the visible community later...

More Reality...

Saturday::James came to visit - we laughed and dreamed together, shared a meal at Betty's and then spent some time at the coffee table. decided then to try and look up his old friend, which led us to another old friend. The whole eve. seemed rather orchestrated by a larger reality.
Last night we had a gathering of these friends in our home. new and old...
It was amazing. we shared spagetti and laughed re:: old times. but then.. then it happened... then we got naked! yeah that's right >> we tore off every last bit of false identity and bore ourselved infront of each other...
We saw eachothers scars, hurts, pain, and lonliness. We all longed for one thing... community. we just kept sharing from the center of our beings and felt as if we could have stayed all night. We thought we knew eachother. turns out we were just friendly strangers.
The party is at Doug's next week. place called Milo. I love it there. it could be the Manor. more on the Manor later.