merton on success

"be anything you like, be madmen, drunks, and bastards of every shape and form, but at all costs avoid one thing: success."

I've been hearing the question more and more these days:: "how is the fruitfulness of your ministy?" I never know how to answer. what could I possibly tell them... and what "ministry" are you referring to? Christ speaks to Kingdom fruit in the parable of the growing seed ::

"This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. All by itself the soil produces grain--first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head. As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come."

organic spiritual discipleship from very small beginnings takes time, patience and longevity. it is found in the ordinary yet not the proper. it cannot be explained, mapped out, graphed, or defined in clean format. it's messy in my eyes because it is full of mystery and paradox >> something that modern man wants nothing to do with. merton:: "Modern man believes he is fruitful and productive when his ego is aggressively affirmed, when he is visibly active, and when his action produces obvious results."

Q. is fruitfulness the new buzzword for success?!?

maybe in some arenas. and to those arenas I affirm that I will not drop out of the pursuit of new disciples. fruitfulness and production have place. my role as servant in the kingdom seeks the fruitfulness of love and grace and seeks to share this within the realm of community. again... merton... "it is the very ground of that simple, unpretentious, fully human activity (ordinary life) by which we quietly earn our daily living and share our experiences with a few intimate friends."

I'm done keeping score. the score doesn't matter to me anymore. I don't have the time. If all I do in life is learn how to succeed in the production of disciples, my life as a kingdom citizen has been wasted. as a kingdom citizen, I relinquish my need to be in control and I trust that I'm part of a much bigger story.

gone for a few

heading back up to bg this weekend.
I'm going to get to hang with the joel and see other friends. it's hard to leave the family... kerri is really cute pregnant and riley is sick... he gets really skin hungry when he is sick and that feels good to a dad.

sunshine

^^first day of fall and it actually feels like it. rare in this midwest climate. it's a cool crisp sunny fall day and I just broke out my favorite fall mug (i'm weird about mugs) to enjoy an enlightening blend of the finest green teas and rare herbs available in this world. {that's what it said on the front of the tea bag and now i just spilled it all over my keyboard. but look it still works- i wonder what was on that floppy

i recieved an e-mail today from angie. angie and i went to the same school {undergrad]. I've heard many good things about angie from shared friends so I know of her and knew that she was part of VC. Yet another quality kingdom citizen that I know of yet do not know. her words::I thought it was cool to find a fellow alum connected in this vast web of folks. I think its cool too. read her stuff

from "With Open Hands" by Henri J.M. Nouwen

And yet you are Christian only so long as you look forward to a new world, so long as you constantly pose critical questions to the society you live in, so long as you emphasize the need of conversion both for yourself and for the world, so long as you in no way let yourself become established in a situaltion of seeming calm, so long as you stay unsatisfied with the status quo and keep saying that a new world is yet to come. You are Christian only when you believe that you have a role to play in the realization of this new kingdom, and when you urge everyone you meet with a holy unrest to make haste so that the promise might soon be fulfilled. So long as you live as a Christian you keep looking for a new order, a new structure, a new life.

+++"wake up o sleeper : seek me and live : a time is coming and has now come : the Kingdom of God is within you"+++

I'm glad I decided not to take myself too seriously today.

haircuts suck

I hate haircuts. every time I come home from a crop chop I look in the mirror too long and play with my hair like I was a girl. i hate that. i wish i could cut my own hair... but I've tried that... and ended up bald. I know what would work... a flobie. you know - the suck cut? cuts it all one length. I saw it on an infomercial as a teen.

anyone out there know where I can get my hands on a flobie?

funny stuff by my friend in bg.

last nights gathering went very well:: good word -:- good conversation -:- good food -:- good movie

My lover spoke and said to me,
"Arise, my darling,
my beautiful one, and come with me.
See! The winter is past;
the rains are over and gone.
Flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves
is heard in our land.
The fig tree forms its early fruit;
the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.
Arise, come, my darling;
my beautiful one, come with me."

Song of Solomon 2


+++Lord, thank you for this invitation into the reality of the kingdom. It is here that I see clearer - things fade from black to white - all is a gift - and no-thing is more precious than your presence. I receive your invitation this day through the discipline of meditation+++

met with palmer this morning. i really respect palmer and value his life and mission. we had wonderful conversation that confirmed much of what kerri and i have been dreaming about. and the conversation will continue...

saw my satanic friend today...
usually we run into eachother at work.
it's usually akward.
light vs. dark, etc.
today it happened in barnes&nobels::the christianity section.
yes, I do find myself overthere from time to time...
but I never thought I would see my satanic friend there. i was actually in the autobiography/gay&lesbian section ease-dropping on a gay couple sheepishly looking for material to help them find a deeper sense of identity in their sexual orientation. my satanic friend caught a glimpse of me and tried to pull off the "i didn't really see you standing there" and quickly walk away... but I caught up to her. she even ignored me when i addressed her at first
e: friend
t: what are you doing here?
e: it's my day off ... are you on break?
t: yea
e: what's that book
t: "you are what you think" - i know some of it's contents are from the bible but it's true
e: I've never heard of that passage
t: how do you get away with that being a pastor and all
e: you probably won't find many of us pastor types that are willing to say they haven't got it all figured out.

we finished it off with a short dialogue about how hard it was for her to come over to "this" section and pick the book up when "this" section doesn't represent who she is or what she believes in - and how bold it was for the gay couple to "come out" by viewing homosexual lituature together in public.
then she had to go back to work.
it was interesting to see my satanic friend in the marketplace. to see her seeking and to have the opportunity to talk to her about it was definatly a highlight of my day.
pray for my friend....

brennan manning at mvnu oct.8-9. find me there friend!

this is fun.
Alan Creech lists "Points of Revolution"
> hierarchical leadership
> pulpit/pew Sunday only large meetings
> cold-call revivalist evangelism
> quick-fix altar ministry
> full-time professional pastorate
> programmed, departmentalized "ministry"
> tight, dogmatic faith statements
> extra-biblical life rules
> local ecclesiastical isolationism
> "the church" programmatically trying to spiritually form children

It's good to hear over and over again from those who realize that this isn't a deconstruction of the Bride of Christ. {readmore}

seems as though we may be able to see a second midweek gathering emerge on thrus. night. the best part is that we won't be involved. the church at 393 rockyfork might birth it's first in the near future. I sense that God is moving in this and that we will be turning the corner as a ministry from single cell to multi-cell. we'll see.

back blogging

Much has happened in my life this past week and 1/2. The first half of last week was filled with a church planter's conference where I learned much more about myself than church planting. My old friend Sam Barber was there. Sam is a man of the Word, the Word made flesh, the Word in us and through us... Christ is in and through Sam. Sam has touch the spiritual life of my entire family. Both my brother and I were deeply impacted by his faithfulness. I thought alot about that as we sat together and had many laughs. It made it worth being there. Relationships are what matter ... not graphs and timelines.
The second half of my week was spent traveling... my grandparents made space for Kerri, Riley and I. There at Chautauqua, where I spent most of my summers growing up, I remembered.
remembered family, fishing, sailing, skiing, tubing, swiming, playing. I miss that in my life and wonder why life seems to be taking each and everyone of us by storm to the point where we don't have time. We make choices...but sometimes I wonder if we don't have a choice.