riley is now on the road to recovery. they were thinking of admiting him to children's hospital but he has shown signs of improvement. we won't be able to take him back to bg for our last sunday. I hope the people there understand. I'm having a hard time understanding right now --- why so much is popping up as obsticles this week. It is a good reminder from Thomas a Kempis that each trial should be seen as part of the journey::
To preserve peace in the time of trouble our will must remain firm in God and be erver directed towards Him, that is, we should be disposed to receive all things from the hand of God, from his justice, and from his bounty, with humble submission to His blessed will. Good and evil, health and sickness, prosperity and adversity, sonsolation and dryness, temptation and tranquility, interior sweetness, trials, and chastisements, all should be received by the soul with humility, patience, and resignation, as coming to us by the appointment of God. This is the only means of finding peace in the midst of great troubles and adversities.

riley is sick::sick::sick!
puked all night and went to the er early am.
an i.v. was given and he is getting fluids back. They struggled with the i.v. and I had to leave. Kerri is the "steel magnolia"
pray for him.

i've been to my friend Chris's blog and his post got me thinking about daily quite time. meditation. centering. modern evangelicals have been in the production mode for some time now. I appreciate Henri Nouwens holy honesty when it comes to his "boring" discipline:: My hour in Carmelite chapel is more important than I can fully know myself. It is not an hour of deep prayer, nor a time in which I experience a special closeness to God; it is not a period of serious attentiveness to the divine mysteries. I wish it were! On the contrary, it is full of distractions, inner restlessness, sleepiness, confusion, and boredom. It seldom, if ever, pleases my senses. But the simple fact of being for one hour in the presence of the Lord and of showing him all that I think, feel, sense, and experience, without trying to hide anything, must please him. Somehow, somewhere, I know that he loves me, even though I do not feel that love as I can feel a human embrace, even though I do not hear a voice as I hear human words of consolation, even though I do not see a smile as I can see a human face. Still the Lord speaks to me, looks at me, and embraces me there, where I am still unable to notice it. The only way I become aware of his presence is in that remarkable desire to return to that quiet chapel and be there without any real satisfaction. Yes, I notice, maybe only retrospectively, that my days and weeks are different days and weeks when they are held together by these regular "useless" times. God is greater than my senses, greater than my thoughts, greater than my heart. I do believe that he touches me in places that are unknown even to myself. I seldom can point directly to these places; but when I feel this inner pull to return again to that hidden hour of prayer, I realize that something is happening that is so deep that it becomes like the riverbed through which the waters can sefely flow and find their way to the open sea.
as my friend bill clinton stuttered after a God directed talk on abortion by Mother Theresa::"how can anyone argue with a life so well lived!"--thank God for the honest saints of the past who have left nuggets of truth from their own journey to help others along.

Moving day was a success
help arived in BG and things went smoothly in C-town
the snow came down pretty thick in Weston but we made it through with all our fingers and toes. Looking forward to taking a total break from life tomorrow!! Kerri told me that all I had to do all day was get up from the couch to eat turkey! i love that. madly in love with that girl. riley likes the new house... his room is smaller but he showed us no concern about that (lessons learned from a 15mo. old). now a hot shower aprox. 20min in length and then to bed...peace

can't sleep so I have been digging into my new present from Scott E. (guide to prayer for all God's peeps)
so good. eccumenical lectionary good! This Sunday's gig is dealing with the theme of Watching and Waiting. Struggling a bit with that title, seems as though the church does that pretty well. I don't know if I can reproduce in a post what God gave me a glimpse of in my den (or smoke room as I like to call it). Paul does a pretty good job of bringing it: eph. 1:9 "and he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment - to bring all things in heaven and on earth togtether under one head, even Christ." but then again maybe Jesus said it even better..."a time is coming and has now come..." what? cool! comming and has now come? how? I don't know. Jesus invites me to cross over into this wacked out time wharp. a merging of the present riseness of the crucified Christ and the Kingdom come all at once. WOW! Same kind of stuff i was dealing with in Friday's post. Repent...re align...re think...totally de everything and re everything in light of this mind blowing reality. Jesus is here ... asking me to go deeper into this mysterious revelation of GOD IN ME. Why would anyone look to another religion after peaking into the endless glory of God? my only thought is that they were fed a pretty weak solution conjured up by the religious and not the righteous.

Both Kerri and I are sick and we move in two days. not very convenient...we feel like #%^*

we got dumped on last night with about 4 in. of the white stuff. Killer drive to work .. I almost ran off the road. Today holds much. I'm glad it's Friday. I have a real peace in my heart. I feel the presence of God and know that I'm living in the reality of his "riseness." tunes playin: U2:best of 80-90 "i believe in the kingdom come ... yes, i'm still runnin" -- packing the office/ working on a sermon -- hanging with friends for the last time here in bg. I will miss my friends.

Things are moving fast. Spent the last couple of days at mom and dad's. Things are going well in hartville. Chris and Angie were able to come down for Dad's B-day dinner/Thanksgiving/Get well party for mom. Back to the grind to finish up my last week here in bg. Lot's of packing to do.

More training today. tomorrow i go to Bexley for classes and then training is over. I just hope I don't forget everything I've already learned over the next two weeks.

first day at Starbucks. I didn't expect it to be so hard. It was really busy and I felt in the way most of the day. the people there are really nice though and they realize how much there is to learn about running a coffee shop. I ran the register today and learned how to make a french press/taste test. that part I liked. all the coffee I want though. Frank is my favorite. He's about 50 and he retired from a major corp. as HR cheese. He had compassion. recieved a compliment on my smile. they don't know yet that that is the light of Jesus Christ - can't wait for them to ask me why i'm so happy.

wow! this thing pegged me.

"It is the chiefest point of happiness that a man is willing to be what he is."

You are Desiderius Erasmus! You have great love for others and will do just about anything to show it to them. You are tolerant and avoid confrontations, so people generally are drawn to you. You are more quiet and reserved in front of strangers, but around some people you open up. When things get tough, you like to meditate alone. Unfortunately you often get things like "what a pansy," or "you're such a liberal."

What theologian are you?

A creation of Henderson

A Heart of Gratitude
Scott and I were talking this morning about leaving a church. In the last days, it is easy to look at what is wrong with the community. To focus on it. To let it consume you. The enemy is prone to sneak in and create disharmony and confusion. We misunderstand eachother's actions and brief comments more easily. We are easily hurt. Without a heart of gratitude, I easily slip into this trap. I don't deserve anything. I have not earned any 'rights'. Nouwen writes: When gratitude is the source of our actions, our giving becomes recieving, and those to whom we minister become our ministers because in the center of our cares for others we sense a caring presence, and in the midst of our efforts we sense an encouraging support.
The people here in BG have a very mature view of the Body of Christ. They have given me the laptop I am working on right now and also health insurance through the month of February!!! WoW. Acts 28:10 - Paul ministering on the shores of Malita and then leaving for Rome wrote they honored us in many ways and when we were ready to sail, they furnished us with the supplies we needed.

Found out how to add a link at the end of each post for comments from readers. comments are encouraged!

fresh page, new day, all out of thoughts, ideas and energy. feeling mentally ill actually.

if anyone reading this wants to buy me this book for Christmas, go right ahead and do it
The Younger Evangelicals: Facing the Challenges of the New World
forgive my grossly selfish plea for quality resourses

Pulled out some old music today. funny how quickly i jump from style to style. I like variety. Buddy Greene is singing in my player about being a sojourner. about not belonging. very timely for today I have a firm sense of belonging with the Kingdom of God. A present reality. The Kingdom of God is not a noun. It is something that happens to me every day. I have a real sense that I am 'in process' and have not 'arrived' yet. When I choose to step into the Kingdom of God (an ethos of timelessness and eternity) ... i am more content with life, willing to say 'i'm not sure,' or 'I'm right were I need to be right now'
people can question "I long to leave my work place and enter into full time minstry and you are giving that up for what again?" i guess the life that i am leading is shaking their norms up a bit. I run into this one the most: full time ministry - isn't that the height of spiritual calling? I'm gonna give that one a big "i'm not so sure" - a small fraction of what I do every day is 'Kingdom Stuff' The rest is what i do to make money. I don't see why we can simply attach holiness or piety to anything done within the realm of clergy-hood. I'm not claiming that the role of clergy is nill, however, I not so sure it's all we've made it out to be. One thing I do know.. If your vocation is not missional, it's not "Christian" - and a full time pastor must make serious deliberate action to keep his personal calling missional.
i'm rambling and I'd rather not blog on for so long.

blogging here at the library in Gahanna. I might need to go this route for a while. Maybe the church can spot me a cable line to the house. I'll ask today. When in doubt ... go big!

Had initial meetings with Starbucks this morning. My plan of attack is to go forward as if I were to begin at Starbucks Dec. 2nd and if this other Job shows to be promising, I'll go that route in the meantime. I have training for Bucks this week. I don't know how all this will work with my dayjob in bg. I'm sure scott will understand.

my blogger code: B3 d- t- k+ s-- u-- f i+ o+ x-- e- l- c

Monday is going to be a big day. Kerri, Riley, and I will be moving a load to Columbus and while we're there I have to meet with cole at starbucks, meet with the staff at shep naz and go for an interview at Directions for Youth and Families. The interview is going to be key in determining if this will be some thing i can hack bi-vocationally. It is located in between Short North and the University District. The location is perfect, all I need to know now is what the job entails.

been a while... woke up with a sore throat this morn. had to clean the house for an inspection. hope they didn't find any dirty roos layin around.
took a MBTI test this past week and we looked at the results yesterday. good news::: i like me.
the test says that i'm an ENFP but I know that I'm an INFP. I am only a situational extrovert and the day I took the test I was excersising my outer world energy.
This will be good to show the folks at shep naz, so they know what they are getting into.
The church planter folks would say that i'm not the prototype. I need to be more of an ESTJ. total opposite of my reality.
that's o.k. though. this means that I will have to let God do more.