Jesus answered them, "Very truly, I tell you, you are looking for me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate your fill of the loaves."

I'm so guilty when I read this verse...
I'm guilty of letting Christ drift to the edges of my conscousness only to become conveiniently aware when I'm hungry for something he can offer...
I'm guilty of following Christ only for what I might gain...
I'm guilty of making Christ one more spoke on a wheel of divided loyalties...
I'm guilty of {my life + Jesus = my better life}

yet it should look more like [-=+}>gain only through loss

Christ paints a picture of the unseen Kingdom of God yet the people still need a sign...

If Christ is something that happened to me, then my conversion was a historical isolated visible event...
but Christ replies to the people with a very present statement::
I AM
he who comes... he who believes...
my conversion {or shall I say my LIFE} then is very much something that happens to me.

yet we always preferr the "altar lined, 'i can see it' 'sinner's prayer' type conversion...
everybody can see and know about the one time event/ crisis moment in other's lives and our own...
but we aren't so eager to jump into Christ's invitation to conversion now, conversion today, repentance again, and again, and again.

Guide us Lord into this present reality of the Kingdom of God where we are continually realigned and constantly regenerated into your likeness at the table. We recieve your invitation to feast on the riseness of Christ Jesus

::WEEK 18::
skin is vulnerable to finger nails. as baby grows, excess fluid is carried away through cord and placenta. full set of vocal cords can cry...

+++Lord I am reminded as I read updates on Jennifer Palmer's condition that life is so very fragile... I pray heath, life, joy, fullness of peace, and comfort for Jenifer and our new little one+++

good thoughts

strikingly similar to what took place in our livingroom last night:

from a simple church planter in Cinncinatti Oh::

The elements of house church

Last night the key elements of our house church were:

1. Tuna caserole, Green beans, brownies, cookies, red wine 2. Looking at old, very funny pictures of several of our memebers dressed up for a white elephant gift exchange party and the Horner's honeymoon. 3. A new word game called "Groin" that involved the letters of scrabble but not the board... 4. People leaving early for reasons varying from work deadlines, husbands at home, and a trip to Central America

I guess I'm ok with that for one week... I hope God was honored by our playfulness. At least we get to try again next week and the week after that and the .....

spent a wonderful morning on the beach with my family... got some rays on my white-ness

now onto trying to formulate some intelligent things to say re:: John 6 for the folks in BG. Not much flowing right now but it will most likely click late Sat. Night.

recently our house guest of two weeks went back to live with her real family... our friend Mary stayed with us while training to be a montessori school teacher in the short north... our time together was excellent. Mary truly experienced what life was like at the Stetler's (meals/community gatherings/parks/conversation late into the night/movies) she experienced our "rhythm" and graciously recieved our attempts at hospitality while remaining very present through it all. Her husband Lars was also able to come down and he let me drive his new jeep around town topless!..
the whole time together felt right. It felt like hospitality should feel like. Kerri and I know we are doing what we do best together when we are attempting community that way. May there be more opportunities like that to come.

nice:: back to back evenings with friends... celebrating the kingdom of God while enjoying chess, beck, victorians, burgers, conversation, and the eucharist....
after experiencing Christ in that moment with my friends, i realize how small of a box I was placing this means of grace in... the resurrection is bigger than you and me, than time and space, than wine or juice...
it is the ever present reality of the riseness of Christ.

::.WEEK 17.::
11 ounces, 9 in. long. fetus can now hiccup. Kerri begins to feel life. Doc. can hear the heartbeat. thumb sucking is not uncommon...

wow...
just woke up from some deeep rem type sleep. whole lot of foggy stuff in my head....
one of the first things I thought about was the group of friends I would be having over to our house tonight and if there was enough food and if I had told the right people about it and if I should serve communion and ......
also pouting a bit b/c my conscious is telling me that it would be against my better judgement to serve real wine tonight for the eucharist. It will lack a lot of significance for certain folk and either way I look at it, someone will be less inclined to fully "recline" at the Lord's table because of what medium I use as the sybolic blood of Jesus Christ.
using grape juice will save me the trouble of dealing with the s#@* that would hit the fan afterward... (religious type things)
comprimise?
maybe

audblog audio post

looking forward to a beautiful day with my family and then having friends over this evening...

living simply in this moment.... "It comes and goes so fast that we usually miss it altogether" - tilden edward living simply through the day

week 16:: mild teeth buds appear. 1st transparent layer of skin replaces protective membrane. eyelashes present.

Recently I have been reading up on the saint of the day. It is facinating the way that we humans praise and esteem those who do the work of discipleship. Is it "radical" to be a disciple even in most Christian circles? My friend pointed out to me this week that I probably don't get thanked at work for pouring someone coffee because it is the basic part of my job.... so why would I "do" my discipleship to be seen by men and applauded. More and more I am realizing that it is those back stage and unseen that are "doing" discipleship as a member of the kingdom... according to Matt. 6, I probably won't recieve status, position, or office by following kingdom norms.... i probably will never be really big.... the temptation as Nouwen writes in In the Name of Jesus is to be spectacular in the eyes of men... to be relevant/ important to someone or some inst. Christ rejected his share of earthly crowns in the way he lived... insignificance was not the enemy. He did not lust after power, position, or wealth.

Jesus sends us out to be shepherds, and Jesus promises a life in which we increasingly have to stretch out our hands and be led to places where we would rather not go. He asks us to move from a concern for relevance to a life of prayer, from worries about popularity to communal and mutual ministry, and from a leadership built on power to a leadeship in which we critically discern where God is leading us and our people. - Henri Nouwen

week 15:: 6 1/2 inches long and 5 ounces:: hair begins to grow on head/ eyelashes and eyebrows begin.

our midweek gathering had a unique flavor...
scheduled to play at the park with subway in hand but it rained...
so we packed the house out with friends.

we laughed, planned parties (fri. nite @ ryan's > 4th and 20th), and read scripture ( we discussed the teachings of Jesus from Matt. 6. )
and prayed.

continue to pray for the palmer's

some excellent thoughts by coach t.hunter

while cycling yesterday taking in the beauty of nature i was struck with a sudden awareness that 'this land is my land and that this land is your land...' no but really, what's with the same folk who used to stick flowers in their hair and sing this truth backing down on their ideals? now these once "free" individuals have settled for a life of securing a peice of earth for their very own pleasure and enjoyment... where noone else can get in ... with fences 10 ft. tall to keep the world out...

"I watch how foolishly man guards his no-thing...truly God is hated here."
- richard rohr

we had an excellent time tues. night with our friends...
this week had a new surprise to it. friends came back from their honneymoon and we saw faces we hadn't seen in a while. our times are turning into a "third place" offering a place of community for those who seek it.
the need:: community
the ministry:: hospitality.
it felt like cheers...
went something like this::
norm walks casually through front door with out even knocking
crowd yells out -
"NORM!!"
norm grabs a drink, sits down to dinner with friends and enjoys the conversation...
it is a holy part of norms week...
no talk about work, no talk about business...
this is a mini sabbath for norm>> a chance to unwind - be real
a chance to gather with others who are asking the question:: "what does this discipleship thing mean in my life?"

watched brother sun sister moon again yesterday...
i can't get that movie off of my mind. This movie is definatly on my top 10 list... a list that may exceed 10.