a note from my new friend pam

Priorities

It is a frequent experience in my line of work to talk to people who are panicked about their health and frightened about whether or not they are going to have a future, or what that future will look like. Cancer patients, people undergoing bypass surgery, diabetics facing amputation, people hospitalized for unknown ailments - these people have several things in common. One is that they do what I call "making deals with God." They pray for an opportunity to live and they'll promise to do anything, even eat tofu, if afforded that chance.

The second thing they do is to develop a certain clarity about what is important in life. They begin to think differently, act differently and appreciate more. Ernestine Bradley, the wife of former New Jersey Senator Bill Bradley and a breast cancer survivor says, "Having had cancer and seeing that there could be an end to what you take for granted has given me a lot of strength to make the life I now have more intense, more conscious, and therefore more wonderful."

The problem is that everyone knows they're going to die some day, but no one thinks about what this really means. And, people never think this is going to happen to them. Especially if they are young. Or athletic. Or successful. Or wealthy. Serious illness is something that is going to happen to someone else at some other time. Not us. Not now.

Addionally, so many people think, "If I indeed develop a medical condition, I'll get treatment." They don't stop to think about all of the people for whom the treatment doesn't work, which is a good percentage, or for whom the treatment completely takes away their quality of life.

The reality is that serious illness is happening to people like us, right now. It's happening at younger and younger ages. And Western Medicine is not curing it. A friend of mine has a good friend whose 22-year-old son is dying of cancer right now, after over a year of unsuccessful traditional treatment. This is right now, today, in my circle of acquaintances. Not some other time to some other people who I don't know.

Another friend has breast cancer and is undergoing chemo and radiation. She's my age. This is today, right now, happening in my life.

I know that these things are happening to the people you know and love and care about too.

So, I'm going to suggest two radical thoughts. First, instead of waiting until you're sick to make a deal with God, make one now that you're going to take excellent care of yourself staring today. Promise you'll set an example for others to follow. Promise you'll do this even if it means you're different from others, or they think that you're strange. Better to be a strange and healthy person than follow others into sickness and degeneration.

And, take a good look at the things you take for granted every day and develop a new appreciation for everything. Ask yourself what is really important to you right now, today. Not some other time, not 20 years from now, but now. Are you living the life you want? If not, make changes. Mend relationships. Renew contacts. Do something different. Take a chance. And for Pete's sake, don't tell yourself you can't, other people wouldn't understand, you're being selfish, or you don't have time.

Remember that we all are dealing with a limited amount of time on this planet. Remember that you can control, to a certain extent, how long you do have by taking great care of yourself. And, remember that the time you have here is precious. Don't waste it!

Dr. Pam Popper