sickness as spiritual discipline

If spiritual discipline is a merging of the sacred and the secular into what Chist discribed as kingdom living, then the discipline is always awareness. The more I have begun to focus on what spiritual discipline means in the simple day, the more I realize that it is heavily reliant on my attention to the spiritual in the mundane and the spectacular. I am sick. I have symptoms of the flu. the temptation is to give up on spiritual discipline and awareness during these times of physical hardship. I chose tonight, however, to view my sickness and a chance to commune with the divine in ways that don't happen when I am "up."
Edwards writes in Living Simply Through the Day.

"Aching is very powerful. It has a way of crowding out everything else in our consciousness..."

today when i came home from work, i senced something "brewing." the usual joy of seeing Kerri, Riley, and Trey and talking about their day was replaced by a bare tolerance. No, I don't want to go to storytime,... no, I don't want dinner, ... you put the kids to bed, i'm cashing in...leave me alone.

so i medicated myself. that's why I can blog. but I'm definatly not in touch with the reality of my sickness. that's why the box says I can't drive. am I just muting what my body is trying to tell me?

the simple alternatives to medication are hard. but what if I did find what's at the center of this "dis-ease."

read Luke. story after story of sickness/healing. sickness shoked people awake both physically and spiritually. Prayer is hard to. Getting yourself motivated, asking others, if they ever get around to it... laying on of hands.

St Paul lived with a "thorn." he faced the suffering head on. Suffering is inevitable. It helps me not to take myself to seriously... "lay off for a while" "get someone to cover for you" " you aren't as important as you think"... It brings clarity.

Edwards proposes that pain is an "unwanted but real means of grace."

+++Peace Lord. In the midst of Life, sickness, health, lack, and mystery. Lavish me with your grace.+++