merton on success

"be anything you like, be madmen, drunks, and bastards of every shape and form, but at all costs avoid one thing: success."

I've been hearing the question more and more these days:: "how is the fruitfulness of your ministy?" I never know how to answer. what could I possibly tell them... and what "ministry" are you referring to? Christ speaks to Kingdom fruit in the parable of the growing seed ::

"This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. All by itself the soil produces grain--first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head. As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come."

organic spiritual discipleship from very small beginnings takes time, patience and longevity. it is found in the ordinary yet not the proper. it cannot be explained, mapped out, graphed, or defined in clean format. it's messy in my eyes because it is full of mystery and paradox >> something that modern man wants nothing to do with. merton:: "Modern man believes he is fruitful and productive when his ego is aggressively affirmed, when he is visibly active, and when his action produces obvious results."

Q. is fruitfulness the new buzzword for success?!?

maybe in some arenas. and to those arenas I affirm that I will not drop out of the pursuit of new disciples. fruitfulness and production have place. my role as servant in the kingdom seeks the fruitfulness of love and grace and seeks to share this within the realm of community. again... merton... "it is the very ground of that simple, unpretentious, fully human activity (ordinary life) by which we quietly earn our daily living and share our experiences with a few intimate friends."

I'm done keeping score. the score doesn't matter to me anymore. I don't have the time. If all I do in life is learn how to succeed in the production of disciples, my life as a kingdom citizen has been wasted. as a kingdom citizen, I relinquish my need to be in control and I trust that I'm part of a much bigger story.